Comas, Seizures, and the Risen Christ

Your brain structures your reality. It does this best by logically organizing perceptions, and the idea is we more or less re-create the external reality the rest of us lives in.

Usually brains work ok, but shit happens, and sometimes they need to reboot.

A coma is “a profound state of unconsciousness. A person in a coma cannot be awakened, fails to respond normally to pain, light or sound, does not have sleep-wake cycles, and does not take voluntary actions.” “Coma” is a spectrum, and people are located on this spectrum according to the Glasgow Coma scale. Comas are generally bad and should be avoided.

Other times there is a power surge somewhere in the brain, called a seizure. Seizures can be as mild as an occasional experience of déjà vu, or extreme as the prototypical grand mal tonic-clonic seizure. Sometimes they can be experiential, perhaps creating an experience for the internal “you” that is as if the person had met god or discovered “the truth.”

Such experiences are called complex partial seizures. They occur in the temporal lobe. They are certainly “real” experiences. However these experiences can be induced in a lab setting by sending magnetic pulses into a person’s temporal lobe. This demonstrates that such experiences are not supernatural, but biological.

What does that have to do with Jesus?

First, a quick rehash of the story.

Jesus, the protagonist, angers the occupying Romans, who then torture him and nail him to a cross.

A few hours later, so the story goes, he dies. The proof of his death is that he is unconscious and unresponsive to pain. Three days later, he becomes conscious again, and goes and wanders around town, describing the experiences he had while dead. These experiences include descending into hell and conquering death, conversations with god etc.

So we are to believe, then, that although Jesus’ hands and feet and skin were not impervious to stakes and spears, his body was impervious to posthumous putrefaction. What stopped the bacteria in his colon from eating him? After all, we each 10 trillion microorganisms in our GI tract alone.

I have another theory:The Jesus Coma. Being tortured and asphyxiated via the cross, or just utterly dehydrated both for lack of water and for injury-related water loss, led to a hypoxic brain injury, leading to a coma. Comatose people do not respond to painful stimuli – even spears. That is the definition of being in a coma. No one in the story is aware of this fact, possibly due to their living in the 1st century, instead of the 21st. I just can’t trust the medical opinions of ancient Roman executioners.

It’s hard to say what a comatose person experiences internally. People delirious from having just woken up from a coma, experience a very altered reality. It’s entirely possible Jesus’ seizure disorder pre-existed his brutal torture, but the coma certainly would not have helped. It is also not surprising that Jesus “ascended into heaven” so soon after his coma. This dude had a history of wandering off by himself into the desert for weeks – he probably keeled over from the raging staph infection he got after being beaten with unsterilized whips.

Overall my explanation is much, much more plausible than the more popular supernatural theories.

And there’s always the possibility Jesus was simply doped by Tetrodotoxin

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One Response to Comas, Seizures, and the Risen Christ

  1. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to
    do it for you? Plz answer back as I’m looking to design my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. thanks

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